Going Solo

The man I'm currently sleeping with prefers traditional sex. Luckily, he has a very talented tongue and hands, so it's still highly enjoyable.

But it doesn't satisfy certain desires.

Yesterday, I spent the better part of a day letting my raunchy side out. Alone. Pretty much.

I pulled a chair up in front of my full length mirror and proceeded to enjoy every inch of my body. I set up my pink dildo with the flat base and I lowered myself on it. I love watching my pussy get fucked even if it's by a toy.

I dressed up in some of my favorite dirtiest outfits (with my window blinds open) and took pictures. Which I promptly sent to an ex as a flirtatious tease. He asked for more, and eventually put in requests for the types of pictures he wanted to see.

I wrapped up the day by having a few hours of interesting phone sex with several men and a few women I will never meet, and I came about half a dozen times.

Could I have had actual sex with an actual man yesterday? Of course. But sometimes I like to enjoy the goods all by myself.

Where Is He?

Oddly enough, I have yet to find a man who is strong enough to satisfy me sexually.

I can usually find one that is mildly adventurous, that thinks he's dominant and a bit kinky. But it's never quite enough.

My challenge is that I am a very successful, intelligent woman. A woman that you would never suspect has such a dirty side. I'm even quite traditional in most of my beliefs regarding relationships. I need respect and intimacy.

And I need to get as raunchy as hell.

I have the desire to expand my horizons, yet I am a bit shy. Therefore, I require a man- a fully confident man- to take the reigns and take me where I've never been before.

It doesn't work if the man is a beginner at exploration. I had a lover that really wanted to experience golden showers. But he was shy about it, hesitant. I told him I was willing, but he sort of expected me to take the lead and make him feel OK about it. I couldn't do that. So we ended up with a half-assed attempt at mild degradation that was unsatisfactory for both of us.

It would have been better if he made me get into a standing position and tied my arms up over my head. Then pour warm water all over my body, pinching my nipples, my ass, my clit. Making me drink large amounts of water until he could see my bladder was full. Then to bring me to the brink, he could slap my ass over and over until it was pink.

When I couldn't hold it anymore, he could have climbed between my legs and ordered me to relieve myself all over him. I am sure as I began to release my piss, I would get more and more into it- telling him to lick it off my legs and take it in his mouth.

Now that would have worked better for me.

I Have a Big Tit Fetish

It started in junior high. A group of the popular girls were teasing me because I had small breasts. In the girls' locker room after gym class I was attacked.

Four of the girls held me down while two others (the most developed ones)lifted their shirts and smothered my face with their tits. I remember crying and being very upset.

But I was also oddly aroused.

And ever since then I have been absolutely obsessed with large breasts. It became worse as I began to develop and ended up with very large breasts myself. I get turned on very easily by them- when I wear low cut tops and feel like my breasts could be exposed, I get turned on. I often like to play and fondle and squeeze my breasts during the day.

When I walk down the street and feel myself bouncing in my bra, I get wet.

When I see women with large breasts, I think about touching them, licking them, sucking on them. I love it when I'm out with my girlfriends and they get drunk because we all tend to get very touchy-feely, and it gives me a chance to feel them. Press up against them.

The other day I was in the ladies room at work, playing with myself in one of the stalls. I had a strong desire to have my breasts touched. So I was standing up and I took my tits out of my blouse, out of my bra, and started caressing them with one hand. I was using the other hand to finger myself and I was getting more and more excited by the moment. Finally, I had one hand fingering my pussy and the other hand tickling my ass- to keep the tit sensation going I began rubbing my nipples against the cold door of the stall.

It was so hot, and I came so hard. It was very difficult to keep quiet so that I wouldn't get caught.

I Wish I Could Fuck Like a Man

I don't mean that I wish I had a cock. I'm perfectly happy with my pussy.

I just mean I wish I could have sex with tons of women and men with no repercussions at all. No risk of losing my self-respect, or reputation.

I was at a club Friday night and it was simply jam- packed with hot women. All ages, all sizes. And I kept imagining them all lined up along the bar, bent over the stools, dresses hiked up over their asses, giving us a beautiful view of their sweet, wet, cunts.

I'd love to watch a man with a gifted cock, just ramming into each of these horny hot sluts. One after another, after another.

Watching a couple of women dancing provocatively on a platform, I imagined each of them stripping for me. Taking their tits out of their bras. Bouncing them in my face. How heavenly it would be to taste and suck each of them. Feasting on their breasts. Tasting their sweet pussies.

For those single men out there who are not using their god-given power to fuck and taste and sample as many women as you can, you are giving up a very sweet privilege.

The Evolution of a Deviant

I had my first sexual fantasy as a very young girl. I can't quite remember how old I was, but I do remember what inspired it. It was an episode of Happy Days when Fonz dated a stripper. There were a few very vanilla scenes of the girl performing, and I remember it made me feel very tingly. From that point on, I used to purposely have daydreams where sexual scenarios played out, with full plot detail. Soon, I discovered masturbation and my pastime became a lifelong hobby.

As I grew older, the fantasies became naughtier, raunchier. And I've added another element to my hobby: phone sex.

I call phone sex lines. Sometimes it's only occasional, other times it's daily for several days. I think it depends on how sexually active I am at that time, and where my hormone levels are.

I have perfected this art- I've created a series of characters that I like to play. I have refined and mastered the (real) description of my body for full effect. Sometimes I stay on the line for hours, using a variety of toys and acting out a variety of fantasies with strangers on the phone.

Yes, there are a lot of weirdos on the lines. Some are into some pretty sick stuff. Some of that sick stuff intrigues me, titillates me. Apparently, as a mature, very articulate and intelligent sounding professional woman, I'm a pretty rare find on a line like this. So I am bombarded with messages from men, some begging me for my time, others demanding it.

I've only shared this secret with one person- an ex. He loved it. He even participated with me a few times, while we had a virtual threesome with another woman.

Funny, though, I found myself unable to be quite as raunchy and uninhibited while doing it in front of him.

Why Share My Secrets?

Because I want to.

My name is Emily. I'm single, 38 years old, attractive, successful, very independent and very sexual.

The last few years I have been exploring my sexuality more and more. And I want to share those explorations with you.

First, because I want to connect with other women with similar thoughts and ideas. Second, because I want to turn men on.

The first thing the men would wonder is "What do you look like?" Well, my body is very much like the one pictured here: I'm 5'7" tall. I wear a 36DD bra. My waist is small, my stomach is flat. My ass is full and round, but very firm. I have shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes.

My body turns me on, and I enjoy playing with it regularly. I masturbate at least daily, usually more. I've been known to sneak breaks during the day at work just to fondle my breasts and play with my pussy. I've done some pretty crazy things, just because I needed to get off.

I'm hoping this blog will lead to new adventure.